April 2006


freaky friday night.. i continue to hunt for a night shot.. with my roomie away for a while, i am looking to make the best use of the opportunity.. (well, not that it mattered when he was around.. )

well.. things aren’t as easy as i would like them.. to be. after a couple of hours of shopping on all the dating sites.. i gave up. today isn’t my day..

ok.. now just then.. someone sends me an message.. he doesn’t have a picture.. which is a total turn off.. for me. but still.. i keep the conversation going and i find out.. he is 41.. discreet.. (that means he is married and a bisexual may be..)

ok.. now i got to see him to meet him.. and all he shows me is an x-rated pic. which confirms he is dd free.. the mind wonders.. if i shud let him in.. well.. i have always wanted a mature person.. but somone who is physically attractive and is fit even after 40.

i let him come…!! as soon as i saw him.. there was this great pain from the tips of my groins.. he had a forced smile and an body which was growing in all wrong places and he seemed to have no control over it.. there was bald patch.. and just the definition of what i find unattractive.

i was a good host to him.. the uneasiness within me turned into an pondering thought. after some uneasy moments.. he happened to get a call and had to go (thank god. i din’t have to send him out.. it would have been my awkward moment..)

so.. what is this life he is leading? he has lost track of his physical health.. and still have cravings for sex with younger guys.. is he really happy about what he is..

i can’t answer for him.. but it was clear to me.. i don’t want to be hunting for a guy at the age of 41. it already feels like a waste of time.. at 28.

it was an experience.. to pull myself together.. and to search for the person i want to be in the coming years.. somone who is physically and mentally active.. and strong.. have a companion.. and not flings..

while i am still debating on the issues of mind regarding the concept of relationship.. my carnival of carnal desires continues to take new turns.. or rather the usual

so i exchange a few messages with this guy who happens to be an professor at rutgers.. well.. i have got this thing for teaching and it reflects onto teachers i guess. morever.. he is teaching literature. ofcourse i am not particularly interested in contemporary works, while he specializes in that..

he mentioned his partner of nine years on the other hand is an victorian literature professor. what a godly combination.. ‘i thought’.

we talked and mulled over a few topics from politics to flirtations.. and then came the turn. i asked him what kind of relationship he was in.. out came a bunch of replies.. ‘we are open, playing around .. alone or together..’ ‘ofcourse with some rules’..

and then.. came my next question.. why not we play around. i knew i just had invited myself to another crazy encounter. we were destined to meet at mid night.. he was a little nervous.. since he was the one to come over to my place.

me being bold.. as always from outside.. i was churning a few thoughts. here is my roomie to whom i am not out. who is probably not sleeping and can hear me as clearly as i can hear him snoor. anyways.. now it was too late..

ken was going to be here in few minutes.. so i quickly took an shower. and was ready to receive the guest.

he was prompt on his time. thank god it was an ‘wow’ feeling. he was very pleasant and sweet. we got in.. sat for a while.. and moved on to ……

it was an awesome thing. i walked him to the door.. and sat down to scribble. have i just fooled around with a guy who is in a relation for 9 years. what exactly is a relationship….

ah.. another sensational saturday just passed by..

i was at JFK airport to see off my new found friend.. a gem of a person.. i am gonna miss him and i didn’t want to miss the good bye times.. it was emotional..

anyways.. so i part with him and took the air train going into the City. I got to tell you this.. when you are in the air train, try to get to the front window and you get this amazing scene. may be you can relate it to mini roller coaster experience….

so… at the end of the air train.. i was going to meet this guy from the internet..he was waiting there… it is one uneventful meeting.. which i was obliged to do.. it is more like keep in touch and growing network.. (being nice is always good..)

we went into city by eight.. i was to meet this friend.. but he was stuck with work. well.. had to idle sometime.. and new york is full of avenues for passing time.. we walked down to chelsea.. we settled for better burger on 20th stree…

there was this another contact i wanted to get in touch.. and he joined us in a little while.. he is most whimsical contact i have made so far.. my first impression was ‘whao….’ can someone be so light.. .. yes he was slim, but i am not talking that light..

he was like a free soul.. he was walking light swinging his whole body.. obviously something that you can do only in chelsea.. anyways.. it is fun to have met him.. after he had his beer.. we decided we will sneak in to an sleazy place round the corner..

we just got in, while my friend finally made it from work. well.. sleazy story was for another day..

it was planned to be a roxy nite.. so there i was just a after midnight.. (roxy.. the place where it all began…) well.. today.. something else was going to start.. which i had no clue about..

it took a few minutes before we got to the dance floor and sync in with rythm of the sound. eyes wandering.. and wanting something to happen.. a little later.. we will lost in the crowd.. and my wandering eyes.. caught another wanderer.. ‘oh an indian’.. it was nice.. he was staright shooter.. within on time.. it was a dirty duet.. and then.. there was the usual flattery.. and then came the unusual request.. ‘jeeez…get lost’.. and there the flicker ended..

now as i was dancing.. i got to thinking.. how the hell did i get spotted.. and that was the moment of revelation.. seek for what you need.. don’t just stand here and play the wait game..

i made my moves into the crowd.. as a hunter .. and there was my bait.. curly hair.. sexy stuble.. smiling lips.. warm blue eyes.. the best part.. alone.. first glance.. to see if he was looking at me.. then there was a second glance.. followed by a smile.. positive..

i don’t remember now.. but at some point.. our tops were gone.. and they were clinging to our jeans.. moving and making the dancing look more like a dance.. well.. now it is making our own steps.. and really.. dance isn’t the right word.. we were coming up with moves to feel each other… and then.. the hunger of lips was never satisfied..

there wasn’t a moment we were part.. and after five hours of exhaustion.. we got out.. there was this diner just outside.. and we needed real food now..

as we sat there.. i looked at him for the first time.. in the real light.. ‘wow.. he is sweet.’ after a little conversation, i asked.. him ‘are you irish?’ he was surprized ..’no one ever told me that, but yes.. my mom is irish and my dad is from italy’.

so.. here i was with my irish connection.. after one last glance.. we bid good byes.. ofcourse.. exchanged numbers.. another contact….

btw.. thats when i remembered.. i had got in with a friend.. where is he.. i remember having seen him a couple of times between my kisses.. he was moving around with a chinnese.

i called him.. and he just happened to comeout nearly at the sametime.. so met again.. outside.. and walked back towards penn station.. (always good to have a friend…)