October 2008

i have a friend who can’t hear, so we communicate by typing in his hand held phone.

last nite, he was getting a drink and the waitress was not able to understand what he was saying.. he has trouble saying some words.. he typed what he wanted in his drink and gave it to her for reading.

she kept looking at it… for more than 40 seconds.. and she looked very puzzled..

it was just one line.. i saw him type it..

so.. my friend took the phone back.. and pointed to the line that he just wrote.

she said “ah!”, smiled and gave the drink.

he looked at the phone again to see why it was so difficult…below the line about the drink.. there was another line…

“my friend is straight but he thinks you are cute”. (imagine, a gay bar.. i was standing next to him smiling.. and looking at her….)

it was a line, we wrote earlier about a guy who was having dinner across our table..


“Can I get you something?” he asked..

Took a moment before I said.. “water please…”

It seemed like an eternity, even though it was just a moment. Something wasn’t right. Was it because he looked different than what I imagined from seeing his pictures? Or was it because he did not speak a word on the apartments buzzer, but just buzzed me in.. Was it because he wanted me to meet at home than meet at coffee shop.

I was standing alone between the packed boxes, the TV was on.. a couch was set up and in the dim light I could see the cleanly spread bed. It is an studio.

He just moved in to the neighborhood. We have been chatting for a while on Manhunt.

Oh btw, Manhunt provides some very interesting profiles and chats.

It is 11pm.. And the plan was I will sleep over.. Why not? I thought…

Standing there.. I had two choices after I decided I won’t sleep over… jerk off or be a jerk..

He was back with the glass.. took a sip of water..

I could see his quivering lips.. he was shirtless… his happy pot belly.. and i looked up…

“Listen”, I said. “I am going home. Let us not do this today”

“Are you not interested? Is that it?”

Looked into his eyes. “Yes”. It came out.

“OK”. he said

And as I walked out, closing the door behind me.. he wasn’t there.

And as I left in the mid night, I had a sense of peace.. than I would have had if I had left the next morning..

being single on a saturday night in new york, without a plan means endless possibilities.. may be the plan is to get some decent plan. plan or no plan, it was an perfect night to vanish into the crowded night.

dinner with friends at nooch around 9pm was the vantage point.. while they were enjoying their leeche margaritas, i feasted my eyes with the evening delights.. nicely dressed cute guys.. some alone,  some with friends and some on dates..

nooch is this dimly lit pan-asian bar and restaurant. there is literally no space between tables, so it is hard avoid getting into each others way or to not eves drop.. probably that was designed by intent.

we finally settled in our table for six.. with me on one of the corner. the table next to me was for two, which was occupied by an cacuasian and an asian. there was a pillar between me and the asian, so i could only look at the cacuasian.

not sure how it happened, but it almost became an involuntary action to look at the cacuasian every few minutes. sometimes i would catch him talking, sometimes listening and sometimes looking at me. after a
few glances.. we were locking our eyes..

just the eyes.. he would not smile and i didn’t either… he continued his conversation with his friend or a date may be.. i ended up eaves dropping and listen to them talk about their families..

were they on a date?  if he was on a date, why were we locking eyes.. was he having a bad date? or is he just flirting around? oh well.. it is his problem!

or is it? how would i feel if i was sitting next to him on a date.. what would i do if he was flirting with the guy on the next table! may be i will also flirt with the guy on the next table..

so anyway.. it was that time when the asked for the bill. he excused himself to go to wash room.. and i was watching him as he did it.

he did not give me a glance.

i excused myself and was standing next to him in the queue.

we smiled. first time since we looked at each other about 30 mins ago..

“how is it going?” he asked.

“not bad”, i said.

“you look cute”, i added.

“are you in town?” he asked.

“for today..”, i said.

he took his mobile out, i typed my number on it. he rang the number. i silenced the ring.

it was his turn in. he went in, came out and nodded as he walked away.

when i came back to table, they were just walking out.. and for the first time i looked at the asian guy. he had this sweet smile.. but he wasn’t looking at me. as they walked out of the door.. asian went out
first and caucasian looked back as he closed the door..

we were all set, bill was being split and were making plans to head to therapy from there. i received a message from him telling he would be up for getting together a drink or something and he would be awake.. suggested i call him however late….

i let my friends take the cab to therapy, i called him…..

i skipped meeting my friends at therapy, but caught up with them at posh!