Coming out can by anything about self that is not evident by itself. The coming out that usually has a shock value on the person finding out and is typically beyond beliefs and expectations set on you. The coming out is not just about coming out as gay, where the phrase is commonly used, but it is also about coming out clean about an act in the past or present. An act that is beyond the imagination of the other person.
Trust and truth go hand in hand. The longer a truth is withheld, the stronger the impact on the trust that gets built up over period of time.
Some people have great clarity or the sense of what is right and can be blunt in coming out or withholding the truth to themself and not caring how other people take it. Though I am this person most of the times, with certain people, I just can’t take the stand of being blunt and letting them deal with it.
During the process of coming out, I have been accused of breaking the trust by the people whom I dearly cared and loved.
But what if the act is my nature, like being gay. Can I change my nature? If not, can I come out openly about my nature/act and lose the trust of the other person?
But I have been been one of those people, who at the first impression either instantly becomes trust worthy or eminate vibes of snobbishness. And people who instantly trust me are the ones who lose the trust at the very first act that hits home to their beliefs and expectations and trust. My act of coming out genuinely hurt them.
Though the act came naturally to me and I personally had no sense of guilt from it, I would apologize for the act, make commitments and sacrifice the desires to not repeat that act, change myself. Though I did not feel the guilt, I would acquire guilt for having tampered the trust of the loved ones.
Some have dealt with it and re-calibrated their trust for which I am very thankful. but some may never make the effort to trust me again. It will always pain me to have lost them for an act, though the very act was never a choice for me.
Re-calibrating trust almost sounds like a compromise and an act adorning deep rooted insecurities and fear. However, it also is an by-product of forgiveness and moving forward. The people who have accepted me also have helped the learn the art of re-calibrating my trust when I am hurt.